I have some spare time on my hands at the moment, so I figured I would post. It's been a long time since I've posted. December was crazy busy, and now things are relaxing a bit. I'm in a place where I am making health an important part of my life. Even though 2015 has only just started, I have been eating well, exercising and caffeine and alcohol free and have not looked back. I intend to stick with it, I'm not making it a resolution, but a way of life. Life is too short not to. I'm taking it days and moments at a time, not just making it a goal for the whole year. Health is a number of things, mainly just taking care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Actually that's pretty much the whole deal since a number of things wrap around those three things. One of those things being allowing people who build me up into my life versus the opposite. Toxic people have got to go.
Artistically, things are a bit quiet right now. I'm sure that will change. Just have to stay positive and keep doing the work. I am planning a homage recital to the late Russian bass Feodor Chaliapin during this year, so stay tuned for that. I will talk about Chaliapin a bit, and sing songs he sang. I like doing recitals since they make me feel artistically fufilled. I am also planning a concert version of Lucia with some colleagues of mine, so stay tuned for that as well. I'm just trying to let the pieces fall into place versus micromanaging the crap out of everything. I'm planning some open mics with my songs and some covers. I'm brushing up on the old guitar skills first. Oh, and I forgot to mention that my students will be in a recital tomorrow night. I'm very proud of their work.
Enough about me. Corny as this may sound, I'm hoping for less violence. We are not off to a good start. I'm referring to the events in Paris. The obituaries of those who died made me very sad. I'm sad for the families as well. The people who died sounded like courageous and accomplished human beings. I feel like violence just continues and it never stops. I'll never understand why. Musicians need to remember that we can help be an antidote to violence. Leonard Bernstein basically said what I just said but more eloquently because he was brilliant. When we are in nail biting rehearsals rehearsing a spot on the passagio a hundred times, it's good to remember that music is very peaceful for the soul.
This blog feels random to me. I was nicknamed random in eighth grade. I wasn't a fan of that nickname. The last point I'll make is to urge people just to be nice to each other. Saying something nice to someone can have a tremendously positive impact. The opposite is also true. Be well everyone. I'm going to hopefully blog more often this year.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Saturday, October 25, 2014
All We Have is Now
Seems obvious right? Why is this such a simple, yet complicated topic? Honestly it is simple. All we have is now and that is reality. I'm all for making future plans or learning from the past. However, don't waste energy on either the past or worrying about the future because all we have is now.
I will be completely honest about why I just thought about writing this entry. I are chipotle which is not good for me, then was shaking my head in disgust thinking well if I had kept exercising, I'd be fit by now. Okay, maybe that's true, but fuck it, all I have is now. I can accept that I am not fit and make a decision to change that now and go forward. I should be fit really doesn't mean anything at this very moment. I looked at myself in the mirror and said should, smoud, and said screw that all you have is now. I know smoud isn't a word. Oh well.
It's never too late to change things right now. I don't give a shit about being too old or this and that. I admit to not being good about taking my advice on my accounts. Hopefully I will this time, or better yet someone who reads this will be inspired by this. I only say that because I hope this helps someone who's struggling. I don't write these things for credit ever.
So, let's go back to the concept of now for a moment. Everything is fine right now. I will sometimes complain about things I have to do in the future. I worry about stuff and 99% of the worrying is bullshit. So, I ask you if you're worrying, what is wrong with right now? My only problem right now is that I ate too much at Chipotle in North Brunswick. So, I'll eat healthy from here on out, I hope. Anyway, that's not a huge problem. I am not making light of things people have to go through. People go through many a rough time. Just stay in the now and deal with it one step at a time. I have a cat meowing at me, so I'll end this here.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
The antidote to violence
This is a poem I am working on setting to music. I'm a bit tired and over stressed with work, so I was thinking about how love conquers fear. Very important stuff.
What's with all the violence in the world? Shooting after shooting and constant hostility. Every time I see the news I get sickened. Where is the humility? I ask you, why is there so much anger and hate? Why can't people just love one another? It should be innate. These are questions I ponder.
Wtf is going on in this crazy world? So much bullying and insults being hurled. wtf is bullying all about? Bullies are people full of self doubt. Insecure people being cowards. People should send flowers. Lots of unanswered questions as violence increases. When we love one another it decreases. So, let's send out love before the world falls to pieces. Peace is the answer, and that comes from love. Love is the better option when push comes to shove.
Oh how violence disgusts me.
Love, patience and tolerance are
key. The stinking news is negative
shit, which puts my emotions in a bottomless pit. Oh how they like to scare us with terrible things someone did. Why not put positive things on the grid? Negative shit keeps the violence going. Sewing love is the antidote to violence, so let's keep growing.
What's with all the violence in the world? Shooting after shooting and constant hostility. Every time I see the news I get sickened. Where is the humility? I ask you, why is there so much anger and hate? Why can't people just love one another? It should be innate. These are questions I ponder.
Wtf is going on in this crazy world? So much bullying and insults being hurled. wtf is bullying all about? Bullies are people full of self doubt. Insecure people being cowards. People should send flowers. Lots of unanswered questions as violence increases. When we love one another it decreases. So, let's send out love before the world falls to pieces. Peace is the answer, and that comes from love. Love is the better option when push comes to shove.
Oh how violence disgusts me.
Love, patience and tolerance are
key. The stinking news is negative
shit, which puts my emotions in a bottomless pit. Oh how they like to scare us with terrible things someone did. Why not put positive things on the grid? Negative shit keeps the violence going. Sewing love is the antidote to violence, so let's keep growing.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Old Habits Die Hard
What does insanity mean? Doing the same thing, while expecting different results. So, the obvious here is to stop doing the old toxic habit. The results of doing it are going to be the same, so then you think to yourself, why did I do that shit again? I tend to worry about situations and anticipate the scenarios, which doesn't make any sense at all because they haven't happened yet. In addition, I'm wrong about how they'll turn out because anxiety blows stuff out of proportion. Emotions and our brains are powerful combinations. Old habits get ingrained and they're just damn hard to change. I'll get nervous and worry about scenarios when I am fully aware that the worrying just wastes energy. Besides, if I have a rehearsal or gig, all I can do is to prepare as best I can. Of course I always feel like I'm not always prepared enough, so that doesn't help. Dale Carnegie's advice about accepting the worst thing that could happen and moving on is much easier said then done. I have adventurous thoughts for lack of a better word about what the worst thing can be. It's a funny thing because there are times when I imagine a scenario going well and it works a lot better for me and the people around me in the situation. How do you like that? My default state is to be nervous and worry though. What's the solution to that? Fake it till you make it? It can be baffling because all the anxiety never helps anything.
Old habits that don't work need to be thrown out. Accentuate the good and throw out the bad. Again, easier said then done, right? It feels like if should be easy though. How do bad habits serve us? They're familiar for one thing, they keep us in our comfort zone, and they're so stinking hard to break. Whether they be addictions, food cravings, gambling or whatever, they are so damn hard to break. Replacing the bad habits with good habits is the way to go. Not an easy route to take. It will be hard at first, but it's well worth it. I need to try this myself on a lot of things. I'm not the best at taking my own advice. I feel funny giving advice at all on breaking habits. I just know that when I have anxiety which is an old habit dying hard for me, I'm almost always wrong about the situations I'm playing out.
Old habits that don't work need to be thrown out. Accentuate the good and throw out the bad. Again, easier said then done, right? It feels like if should be easy though. How do bad habits serve us? They're familiar for one thing, they keep us in our comfort zone, and they're so stinking hard to break. Whether they be addictions, food cravings, gambling or whatever, they are so damn hard to break. Replacing the bad habits with good habits is the way to go. Not an easy route to take. It will be hard at first, but it's well worth it. I need to try this myself on a lot of things. I'm not the best at taking my own advice. I feel funny giving advice at all on breaking habits. I just know that when I have anxiety which is an old habit dying hard for me, I'm almost always wrong about the situations I'm playing out.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Post Bard Festival Blog Post
Long time no blog, so I will blog away now. First off, what an amazing experience the Bard Festival was. I shed some tears when I was driving home last night. Leon Botstein runs one hell of a summer festival. It's astounding how much he does for people as far as educating them and promoting culture. Plus he provides employment to many artists in this country, and for that I am grateful. The level of talent and love for the music is unique. I am having serious withdrawal right now. The e flat mass by Schubert is one of the greatest masses. It's amazing how he wrote so much in such a short life and most of its good. What an experience and fine group of people. I'm not an ass kisser, and don't say these things unless I mean them.
So, what's next? Of course there is the usual stuff. Church job, high holidays gig etc... However, there's obviously a lot more to life. I'm making an effort to be more open with people. I was proud of myself for being friendlier at Bard this year. I even danced at the Spiegeltent, after initially telling my friend Roosevelt no about twenty times. In life we keep growing, we keep getting out of our comfort zones and breaking inhibitions. Life keeps going and I plan to keep growing. Strides have been made, but there is a lot of work to be done. My next goal honestly is working on discarding some poor habits. For example, I need to follow all the way through on things. Not easy, but essential. Discipline is not always my strong point, so I plan to work on that.
What else can I say here? Being home for the first day from Bard was a bit unsettling. It feels a bit lonely at the moment. Accept for having my kitty back. Yes I'm a softie at heart. It was cool being around fellow artists and so many of them. It's also astounding how many artists were employed this summer. There are countries where fifteen dollars is a lot of money, and we were all employed this summer and doing what we love. Anyway, I think I veered off topic a bit. I'm in Bard withdrawal, and sort of feel like, what's next? I guess more will be revealed. When we go away for a while and then come home, there's an adjustment to be made. I'm currently in the mode. More later. Love to all.
So, what's next? Of course there is the usual stuff. Church job, high holidays gig etc... However, there's obviously a lot more to life. I'm making an effort to be more open with people. I was proud of myself for being friendlier at Bard this year. I even danced at the Spiegeltent, after initially telling my friend Roosevelt no about twenty times. In life we keep growing, we keep getting out of our comfort zones and breaking inhibitions. Life keeps going and I plan to keep growing. Strides have been made, but there is a lot of work to be done. My next goal honestly is working on discarding some poor habits. For example, I need to follow all the way through on things. Not easy, but essential. Discipline is not always my strong point, so I plan to work on that.
What else can I say here? Being home for the first day from Bard was a bit unsettling. It feels a bit lonely at the moment. Accept for having my kitty back. Yes I'm a softie at heart. It was cool being around fellow artists and so many of them. It's also astounding how many artists were employed this summer. There are countries where fifteen dollars is a lot of money, and we were all employed this summer and doing what we love. Anyway, I think I veered off topic a bit. I'm in Bard withdrawal, and sort of feel like, what's next? I guess more will be revealed. When we go away for a while and then come home, there's an adjustment to be made. I'm currently in the mode. More later. Love to all.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Stop Judging Yourself
We are our own worst critics. Fellow artists can probably identify with that statement. The arts have enough criticism, so why do we need to do it to ourselves? I don't mean constructive criticism. I mean destructive criticism like you suck, that sucked, that sounded like crap, you don't belong in this business etc... You get the picture. I already know that destructive criticism is what it is, destructive and a waste of time. However, I felt inspired to write this because I have been playing my new guitar for hours on end and just enjoying myself. When I practice singing I start going into serious mode and can definitely judge myself without mercy. When you start doing that
it is important to evaluate whether you would even say such things to your worst enemies. I know I wouldn't say that stuff to my worst enemy or any of my students. Playing the guitar is not what I do professionally. However, it is worth mentioning here because I can practice it for hours and hours and never get tired or bored with it because I don't have the negative dialogue going on while I'm practicing. Practicing singing and learning my texts can be the same way. I don't see why not. Judging myself is something I deal with a lot. It's destructive and I find it very hard to overcome. When I was playing the guitar earlier I was actually complementing myself for getting better and my inward critic was gone. So I figured why can't I practice singing that way?
Constructive criticism and judgement are different things in my opinion. I am not judging my students when I give them constructive criticism. I know also that my teacher doesn't judge me. He just tells me what needs to be addressed. Constructive criticism helps solve the issues at hand. Judgement does not. The key is to be present and focus on what you're doing. If the negative judgment comes in then go back to the task at hand. If you're really focused on your breath, what the character is saying, who you're talking to etc...who the hell has time for the negative judgement? The judging takes away from the task at hand. Realizing that I am my own worst enemy when I'm
singing is hard to swallow, but it's true. The important thing is to stop the stinking negative judgment because it doesn't have to be like that. All the judging is a good way to think your way out of taking risks. Here's a simple fact that will bring this concept home. Why not be grateful that you can sing in the first place? Something could happen that could change that such as an illness, or accident. Also think of how many people would love to be able to sing who cannot. Leonard Bernstein longed for the gift to be able to sing.
My objective in this post was to bring home the fact that negative judgement is a big waste of energy. When I'm not judging myself I have so much more energy. I used the example of practicing the guitar because I have been practicing it for hours a day and still have energy afterwards. I feel at peace. Singing can be the same way. When I practice the guitar I can take the pressure off myself. Sometimes when I practice singing I feel exhausted in like 10 minutes because of all the inner critic crap. My whole point of this post is that it doesn't have to be like that. I hope this blog post helps someone.
it is important to evaluate whether you would even say such things to your worst enemies. I know I wouldn't say that stuff to my worst enemy or any of my students. Playing the guitar is not what I do professionally. However, it is worth mentioning here because I can practice it for hours and hours and never get tired or bored with it because I don't have the negative dialogue going on while I'm practicing. Practicing singing and learning my texts can be the same way. I don't see why not. Judging myself is something I deal with a lot. It's destructive and I find it very hard to overcome. When I was playing the guitar earlier I was actually complementing myself for getting better and my inward critic was gone. So I figured why can't I practice singing that way?
Constructive criticism and judgement are different things in my opinion. I am not judging my students when I give them constructive criticism. I know also that my teacher doesn't judge me. He just tells me what needs to be addressed. Constructive criticism helps solve the issues at hand. Judgement does not. The key is to be present and focus on what you're doing. If the negative judgment comes in then go back to the task at hand. If you're really focused on your breath, what the character is saying, who you're talking to etc...who the hell has time for the negative judgement? The judging takes away from the task at hand. Realizing that I am my own worst enemy when I'm
singing is hard to swallow, but it's true. The important thing is to stop the stinking negative judgment because it doesn't have to be like that. All the judging is a good way to think your way out of taking risks. Here's a simple fact that will bring this concept home. Why not be grateful that you can sing in the first place? Something could happen that could change that such as an illness, or accident. Also think of how many people would love to be able to sing who cannot. Leonard Bernstein longed for the gift to be able to sing.
My objective in this post was to bring home the fact that negative judgement is a big waste of energy. When I'm not judging myself I have so much more energy. I used the example of practicing the guitar because I have been practicing it for hours a day and still have energy afterwards. I feel at peace. Singing can be the same way. When I practice the guitar I can take the pressure off myself. Sometimes when I practice singing I feel exhausted in like 10 minutes because of all the inner critic crap. My whole point of this post is that it doesn't have to be like that. I hope this blog post helps someone.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
New Blog Post
It's been a long time since I blogged. First of all, parents please stop leaving kids in hot cars. Leaving kids or animals in hot cars is dangerous and might kill them. I still hear of people leaving kids in a hot car even in wake of the hot car case taking place in Georgia. The latest one I heard of today involved a woman leaving kids in the car while she was getting a haircut. Why not bring the kids in the salon, or leave them with a sitter? Good Samaritans broke the windows open with a hammer. This was in Texas I believe, and it's hot there to put it mildy. Come on. This story pissed me off. Especially since we have the case in Georgia going on. Plus it seems like basic common sense to me to not leave kids or animals in a hot car.
I also wanted to write this post to keep people updated on things. It's been a quiet few weeks, and I don't mind that all. I've even relaxing, exercising, eating well, continuing to work on my voice etc... It's nice to have some breathing room for a while. At first I was thrown off by the lack of structure, but I started re-reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to stop worrying and start living" and that has changed things. It's important to keep busy, let go of past mistakes and change for the good. I'm trying my best to do all those things. Later this summer I will be in beautiful upstate NY at the Bard Music Festival at Bard College. We are performing lots of works by Schubert and his contemporaries. It should be a cool experience like last years festival was. The level of musicianship is always very high at this festival. A lot of the people involved are very talented and have done very interesting things in their lives.
So what else? I cannot believe how hard it is raining outside right now. Wow! I figured I would write more since I am currently in my car waiting for this monsoon to slow down. It's good to have the rain because we absolutely need it. Now it's ten minutes later and it's not raining anymore. Okay, I get it. Anyway, I think I'll end this here. I'm going to play my guitar, and practice my audition rep. More opera related posts to come. I figured I would make this one non opera. It's good to mix it up a bit.
I also wanted to write this post to keep people updated on things. It's been a quiet few weeks, and I don't mind that all. I've even relaxing, exercising, eating well, continuing to work on my voice etc... It's nice to have some breathing room for a while. At first I was thrown off by the lack of structure, but I started re-reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to stop worrying and start living" and that has changed things. It's important to keep busy, let go of past mistakes and change for the good. I'm trying my best to do all those things. Later this summer I will be in beautiful upstate NY at the Bard Music Festival at Bard College. We are performing lots of works by Schubert and his contemporaries. It should be a cool experience like last years festival was. The level of musicianship is always very high at this festival. A lot of the people involved are very talented and have done very interesting things in their lives.
So what else? I cannot believe how hard it is raining outside right now. Wow! I figured I would write more since I am currently in my car waiting for this monsoon to slow down. It's good to have the rain because we absolutely need it. Now it's ten minutes later and it's not raining anymore. Okay, I get it. Anyway, I think I'll end this here. I'm going to play my guitar, and practice my audition rep. More opera related posts to come. I figured I would make this one non opera. It's good to mix it up a bit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)